By Deb Kroon
Review Staff Writer
“I found out I was adopted when I was in Kindergarten,” Shari Lenz told me. “I have a good family, my parents Ersel and Ben Seeger, adopted me when I was a infant. I grew up in Estherville, IA. I have two brothers and a sister, all whom are older than me. My oldest brother Gary was already out of the house as I grew up, so I barely knew him, but now we are the closest out of my three siblings. My sister Karla, my brother, Tarry and I, that was my family growing up.”
“Tarry was four years older than me, and he was also adopted. When Tarry was about ten years old and I was five, my parents were telling him about his adoption, and I asked,”what about me?” So that’s when they told me about my adoption.”
Shari grew up with lots of questions.
Shari married Mark Lenz in 1990, and together they searched for her birth mother. She knew she was born in Des Moines, IA, but because Iowa has a closed adoption law, they were unable to find out anything. All her birth certificate said was baby girl Snyder, not much to go on. They searched everywhere they could think of to look; the library, hospitals, the adoption agency and managed to get a couple of leads, that went no where. So her questions went unanswered and she continued her search.
Shari and Mark live in Lismore, MN and have two children, Nicholas who is twenty-one and Evan who is fourteen. Nicholas wanted to know more about the family heritage, so in 2013, Shari joined Ancestry.com, an on-line company that analyzes your DNA and then connects you to registries all over the world. “I put on the web-site that I was adopted and anyone with any information to share, please contact me,” she said. She got no response.
The story continues….
Evan is a baseball player. He wanted to try out for the Sioux Falls Cyclones, which is a baseball and softball training academy and traveling baseball club out of Sioux Falls, SD. “Evan had to try out for the team,” Shari explained. “He wanted to see if he could make the team and we felt it would be good for him to go through the tryout process.” Evan made the team and so the Lenz family began traveling all over the US.
“In the beginning of June we were scheduled to go to Denver for a tournament. I was flying, I’m not a big traveler, but I didn’t want to miss the games.” Shari began. “ A couple of days before I was to leave I got a ‘first cousin match’ on Ancestry.com. I contacted the match. It was a young woman who said, “I think my grandmother is your mother.” It turned out this young woman was my niece (Makenzie). Her mother, my half-sister lived in Lyons, CO, which is about one hour north of Denver. What do I do? After discussing it, we decided we could make this work. I met Makenzie in Denver and she took me to meet my half-sister.” After all these years-WOW! Goose bumps.
“It went great!” Shari shared enthusiastically. “I met my half-sister, Brenda, her husband Jon and my niece (who contacted me) and nephew, Makenzie and Jack. I found out about my birth mother, Rose, and a half-brother, Tom. My birth mother and half-brother live in Carroll, IA.” So the next weekend, after a tournament in Lincoln, NE, the Lenz family came home through Carroll, IA and Shari finally met her birth mother and her brother. “It wasn’t nerve wracking,” she explained. “It gave me a feeling of relief. After so many years of wondering, something inside of me relaxed, let go. Everything is fine, now I have peace.”
“On August 6th, Brenda came to visit Mom, and they were driving back to Denver together and they asked me to ride along,” Shari said. “It gave us time to talk. During the visit, Mom told me she had tried looking for me, but because of closed adoptions, she didn’t have any more luck than I had. I stayed a couple of days after arriving in Denver and then flew home.”
There is such a thing as coincidence and there is such a thing as a higher power, and both are involved in events that happen. “When Evan made the Cyclones, we thought – what are we doing? Is all the travel worth it? I believe we got our answer!” Shari found out about her birth family just before leaving for Denver, a perfect opportunity to meet her half-sister and family. Is it a coincidence?
There are other fun facts that have fallen into place. Shari is a cosmetologist, Rose is a cosmetologist, and her grandmother on her dad’s side owned a school of cosmetology. Fate? Shari found out about her birth family on June 7th – her birth mother’s birthday. Too many coincidences! The Lenz’ son Nicholas and Shari’s niece Makenzie, are both artists.
I asked about her adoptive parents, if they were still living and what did they think about all of this? “My mom Ersle passed away when I was twenty-one. My dad Ben passed away eight years ago. They would have been thrilled for me. My dad was also adopted and his birth family found him when he was in his 60s.” We talked about how nice it was to be able to complete her history, both family and medical. She has learned of a couple of things she needs to check into, but now at least she knows about her history.
I asked Shari about her birth father. “Rose told me a lot about him,” she said. “I know that he lives in Brandon, Florida and has one daughter and one son. I have not contacted him yet.”
After years of unanswered questions, Shari has finally gotten answers she was looking for and so much more. “It is overwhelming to know that I have so many family members that I didn’t know anything about. I get to take my name off of the reunion registries and the adoption registries at last,” she said. You can hear it in her voice she is a happy woman with an exciting future awaiting her. It goes to show that persistence and patience does pay off, and God is definitely in control.
